Fear after heart attack very real |
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After the heart attack and two days of constant care in the safety of the hospital, the real fear sets in;
the fear of not waking up or having the pain that felt like your chest was going to explode return.
It's so strange that you have survived such a huge medical happening, have come through death and are told you're going to be fine - but deep down you wonder at every new sensation.
CPR is a violent and necessary action to save a life, but it leaves some very sore muscles and bruised or broken ribs. A cheap price for remaining alive, I assure you, but those twitches and muscle aches makes you wonder what’s going on inside your chest and then brings on more fear.
All of this gets better several weeks after the “event” (I still love that reference!)
Now, let's fast-forward to last week, my first workout at OZ Fitness. Ian, the owner, offered to help me climb back into shape and he wants me to get better, he wants to see lots of people get healthier, yet I swore he was trying to kill me last week through Bruce, one of his trainers.
For the first time in awhile, and it has been 3 months since my heart attack, I felt fear. My heart was pounding as I went through lunges, rowing and lifting. That pounding of my heart at 130 -140 bpm, along with deep breathing to get enough air, had me feeling vulnerable and scared. I worked through it and after the hour at OZ I drove home, thankful that I made the effort. Still, as I write this I can feel that fear I felt and know that I will face it again this week, three times… I hope it gets better, quicker.